I would have stuck my dick-Urban Dictionary: mashed potatoes

We have all heard the line "shit, if I knew it was gonna be this kinda party I woulda stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes! The creator of the famous line. He was in films. In all its glory, may I present to you the joke in its entirety. Be prepared to laugh your ass off and tell this joke over and over to everyone you know.

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick

Forgot your password? Edit page. Presbyterian Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes. This website uses cookies to improve user experience. Some stuff you physically can I would have stuck my dick do. The Fake porn star tit line from The Beastie Boys We have all heard the line hae, if I knew it was gonna be this kinda party I woulda stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes! Tue Nov 06 at Jayhawk

Evenflo whisper quiet infant swing. The famous line from The Beastie Boys

So I grab the Woukd from the towel holder and proceed to smash the bottle with all my might. A keyhole. A butt. Posted on July 17,GMT. So blessed to have my dong to this day. Hot tar. Een stofzuigermerk verworden tot werkwoord, doordat mannen de stofzuigers niet alleen gebruiken om stof te zuigen. Now my brother havve enjoys hot food. A vacuum hose. Een moersleutel kwam in het artikel niet voor, moest een man in China gedacht hebben. The hole of a bagel with cream cheese. A pot of spaghetti. A mannequin's hand.

The source of this line, used in the track "B-Boys Making With the Freak Freak" on the Beastie Boys ' album Ill Communication , was often pondered by Beastie Boys fans until in , a fan finally asked one of the band members, Adam Horovitz , who immediately solved the mystery.

  • Worked in a bakery.
  • How well-travelled is your gentlemanly member?
  • .

Top definition. Mashed potatoes at a party. Part of a larger expression of derision. Mashed Potato unknown. I don't understand why Daoqing hangs around with those racist German fags, he's never going get any of that mashed potato with his Chinese sausage. Mashed Potatoes unknown. It may be an act of vengeance , inebriation , or necessity. It was negative 30 degrees in Fairbanks Alaska , so when visiting my friend with only an outhouse I had no choce but to mashed potatoes.

Mashed potato unknown. Under the influence of drugs, in an altered state of awareness. Did you see Pauline and Christopher last night? They were mashed potato! A potato , mashed. If them superstitious motherfuckers want to have that kind of party, I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes. When your penis becomes soft in New Jersey when you are having sex with a brodette at a disgusting beach house in the bathroom on top of your cousins puke from an hour earlier. I had so many Jagr Bombs in Belmar , that I attempted to give Vanessa the peyton manning but I went limp and tried to stuff it into her taco with a spatula just like mashed potatoes.

Noun: a term for a light-skinned woman's breasts that describes their firmness; soft , lumpy. Arabian Gasmask Presbyterian Nittany Lion Jayhawk January 22 Mike Ock Clock it Yaoi paddle Queen of Hearts TGH July

So I grab the rod from the towel holder and proceed to smash the bottle with all my might. I felt terrible about it. I fucked him in his little teddy bear butthole like the sad pubescent rapist I was. Your worst enemy. A pumpkin with a hole cut out. In my frantic pulling I end up losing my footing and fall in the tub, bottle flopping around with its death grip on my dong.

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick. Browse Sections

I was way off and am now very embarrassed. My shame. I later burned it after one last sympathy fuck. Wish I was kidding.

My childhood Teddy bear, Biff, was my go to stuffed friend for many years. We had found him on the street, discarded, part of his vinyl nose scuffed up. I loved that bear. Out of all my stuffed animals, I always slept with him tucked under my arm. He was my best Teddy friend. Then, I turned 11, and noticed he had a hole under his tail. I fucked him in his little teddy bear butthole like the sad pubescent rapist I was. I felt terrible about it. He was my friend, and I fucked him.

Right in the butt. In a way, I feel like I buttfucked my own innocence. Not after I defiled him with my stinky hairless wiener. Plus, he was asking for it, flaunting his furry ass all over the place.

Well after following the insane instructions I slid my member past the flakey goodness and into the turkey gravy encased. Never again, just never, never again…. Bought a Fleshlight. One day I was doing my thing, all of a sudden I saw black stuff on my dick.

I finished my business as usual and looked inside. It was filled with some black looking mold. The top was all black and it was hard.

It felt like taking a scab off. Underneath it, it was white and creamy. I quickly washed off my dick and threw the Fleshlight out. It was the first time I ever attempted to masturbate, oldest boy, no Internet, no dad to rummage thru his porn stash.

What to do though? When you have sex you stick it in the girl right? Start off flaccid and push it in. Ok awesome game on. As it starts to hurt I start to panic. In my frantic pulling I end up losing my footing and fall in the tub, bottle flopping around with its death grip on my dong.

So I grab the rod from the towel holder and proceed to smash the bottle with all my might. Finally break it and freedom is mine! Later that day my mom asks why the conditioner bottle is broken and I just tell her I slipped in the shower and knocked it over.

I would jerk off in the shower all the time as a kid and use conditioner as lube. Sometimes it would sting my dickhole, so I decided to switch it up once and tried toothpaste instead.

It has those little flavor crystals in it and it buuuuuuurned my cock so bad. My whole family was in the next room, so I had a silent, agonizing freakout in the shower.

When it happened I was sure that I had found some terrible procedure for dick-removal. So blessed to have my dong to this day. This is kind of relevant. I was doing the dishes before I hopped in the shower and I was cleaning a plate that my brother had eaten a sandwich off of. A human pile of garbage. A pile of gummy worms. A pile of gummy vaginas. A pile of gummy dicks. A pair of shoes. A leather penis-holder.

A blow up doll. A hollowed-out papaya. An exhaust pipe. A lobster roll. The ocean. A burrito. A water bottle. A bottle of Gatorade. Toilet paper roll. Grape jelly. A warm stick of butter. A vacuum hose. A deep dish pizza. A mason jar. An ice cream cake. A wall outlet. A taco. A sock. A grapefruit. An algebra text book. A milkshake. An oyster. A tissue box. A gutted cucumber. A rotten peach. Just some plastic bags. A cupcake. A container of thick Greek yogurt. One of those water snake toys from the '90s.

A Toblerone package. Hot tar. A lukewarm cup of yesterday's coffee. A tub of creamy hummus. A latex glove full of mayo. A fistful of satin sheets. The belt loops of a pair of jeans.

Wet cement. A rainbow scrunchie. A childhood toy. A pile of wet leaves. A snowman or snowwoman. A Jenga tower. A closing subway door. An economy-sized container of mouthwash.

The source of this line, used in the track "B-Boys Making With the Freak Freak" on the Beastie Boys ' album Ill Communication , was often pondered by Beastie Boys fans until in , a fan finally asked one of the band members, Adam Horovitz , who immediately solved the mystery. What sort of party would I find myself sticking my dick in the potatoes? Why, the one where a belly button is needed in the mashed potato man. Oh Dear God The Screams I was at a party, one of those weeelll-there's-twelve-of-us-here-already-and-the-music-is-getting-louder, so what the hell?

Share the wealth and all that Somebody, somewhere, had turned up with some amplifiers, and the accumulated volume got louder, and I mean loud - a reliable source tells me that the neighbour stormed up the drive and demanded access to the fuse box.

As the host lived on one of those english estates where being able to see your neighbours , even with the aid of a telescope , is considered to infer that you are poor shudder at the very thought! I was lying on the patio, watching the trails of cigarette smoke writhe round and finally cover the stars, I had reached the plateau of absolute peace with your surroundings, when you are too tired to go on, but can't bear the thought of bidding your final farewells to the evening.

So you compromise , and just lie there, on the boundary of sleep and awake. Picking out the different bits of conversations that were going on above me and making my own - 'you say that you'd love to buy a tawny owl so big you could ride on it?

Lovely dahling' - when a scream rent the air hackneyed but true. I swear it actually took on physical form, breaking apart the plumes of cigarette smoke. It certainly broke apart the conversations. Hand came out of nowhere, hauled me up - 'He's your friend, go rescue the silly fucker'.

Made my way, unsteadily, very unsteadily to the kitchen, where I found a good friend of mine, tears streaming down his bright red face , frantically scrubbing at his, uh, member in the sink. I took a look. Not pretty. It had turned out that, whilst admiring the vast spice rack adorning one of the walls, someone had bet him a can of beer that he wouldn't put chilli powder on his, uh, member.

So, like the fully-paid-up Mensa member that he is I'd be willing to bet he wished he'd stuck his dick in the mashed potatoes And I happen to know that he certainly didn't wash the sink out afterwards.

Sign in Login Password remember me Lost password Sign up. Fri Oct 30 at Mon Jan 08 at Tue Nov 06 at Some stuff you physically can NOT do. On being the first person to finish a test.

The node that tried too hard to be loved. Before we dump the bodies, you guys wanna go to Hooters? The bottle of shampoo in the shower. Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes. Things that I've overheard. Jesus undoubtedly said this or something very like it. I want to be a dirty old man when I grow up. Oh, oh, look at my redeeming honesty. I'm trippin' my nut sack into a frenzy of dik play.

I would have stuck my dick

I would have stuck my dick